My (Priyanshu Jain) Testimony - How I came to know Jesus Christ?

Here goes on my testimony of conversion (conversion of my faith & conversion of my heart):

There is a verse in the bible which says: if any man gain everything in the world (means everything he needs, everything which he desires) but loses his soul then what benefit does he gain?

This happened in the November 2007, I was very depressed just because of the so much failures I got in my life, there were so many reasons behind it & because of that I was about to kill my life, I caught in suicidal thoughts & other bad things, so in short I want to tell u some reasons, what they were....!

1^st & foremost I was searching peace & at the same time when I was growing in my age I was searching the answers of few basic questions like - who am I, & who is the controller of this universe & what is the purpose of my life/what is the use of my life, I have not taken birth not just to die, & what will happen after death. I used to think that I am not born just to live usually & die, so these types of questions caused me to think over...

2^nd very reason was in studies I got so many failures & because of them my family & my relatives used to tell me that how weak I am in studies & also they used to say that you’re not lucky enough, & I didn't like these things. After 12th I prepared for engineering & I got selected in few engineering colleges (not in top most but in good ones) but I didn't join engineering & instead of this I joined a course named B. Sc. IT, This was a private degree from a private college, so with it I joined B.Sc. in government college in my city – Bundi. So because of this my parents & relatives used to say like you have wasted money & time also. Although they were not adamant but when they said these types of things I really felt bad. Anyhow I completed one year in both the courses. But after one year when I got into 2^nd year I got failures in both the courses. So I was little bit disappointed & felt nervous. Like this I was doing studies with failures.

3^rd reason is this that I was searching the love which can satisfy me, my parents both are in government service, so they didn't spent too much time with me, & my relatives damn bad they are, many of them was so selfish I can’t tell u, their behavior disturbed me, so in my childhood I didn't get the love which can satisfy me. These things also disturbed me a lot.

4^th reason was my major fear, when I was growing in my age , (when I was at the age of 10-13) I was molested several times, one of close relative & a man molested me, teased me so many times, that’s why I was living in a guilt as well as in fear. & it was causing harm in my growth, Like I was living in shyness & ashamed state, there was fear caused by feeling of insecurity & just because of that very thing happened in my life I became a bad guy, bad meant spoiled, though I did not do many bad things but whatever I did they were bad in my sight, so bad I became can’t tell u...... & after believing in Jesus that nature changed, means I got transformed. Hurray!!!

5^th reason is after realizing that I have spoiled now I have done many wrong things, I was oppressed with guilt feelings, that led me into a guilt towards myself, so that time when I was oppressed, it was bad time for me & simultaneously I was desiring answers at any cost but I didn't get, I was searching peace & love but I didn’t get. Suddenly one of my friends named Hemant Saini told me about Prajapita Brahmakumari Ishwariya Vishvidyalaya, he told me that his life changed after he went there. I noticed a slight change in him so I thought lets try this. I went there with him, but there they (sisters) told me about general things about life & death, about God (Shiv Baba & Krishna) & about meditation, & they also told me that there is Shiv Baba in this world who is only God & when you will meditate on him - he will come to you & he will tell u each & everything, he will give you peace. I started to go there & tried things they told me like meditation & change in lifestyle, but that didn't work for me. So I stopped going there. Even though some concepts there I found were good by which I used to think like happy, but actually I was not.

So with this situation I went to Jaipur for preparation of MAT/CAT to get selected in good MBA colleges. After preparation I got selected in MBA College in Delhi, so I came to Delhi in September 2007. But even after coming to Delhi I was not happy at all, but doubted about my failures, questions & life. & in result things became a headache for me because I was not finding any way. Suddenly i got one shock, I came to know that I will have to appear in the exams of 6^th semester again & here in that college in Delhi I took admission on behalf of result awaited. So I contacted with my college director & he told me same thing, nothing happened.

But at this point of time I was in dizzy state of mind, used to feel very depressed. All these days were like years for me because I was burdened of dizzy state of mind. Then one day I thought “I should kill myself”. When I was thinking about suicide I was like numb & was counting my failures. I was totally hopeless. Suicidal thought were filled in my mind. So in the mid December 2007 I quitted college. I told my friends that I am going to quit college. & one fine day I was returning to my friend’s place, that day I was very nervous & dizzy, suicidal thoughts were running in mind & within few hours something good happened. After returning to my friend’s place I remembered one thing told my very same friend who brought me in Prajapita Brahmakumari, & that thing was about confession of sins, he told me long time back (that time when I used to go to Prajapita Brahmakumaris) that Christians confess their sins before father & that’s why they live a prosperous life, that thing striked me.

I thought that all these things are happening with me because I recently become a bad & spoiled guy & didn't do anything good till yet, so I decided that once I should go to the father of any church before committing suicide for confessing sins. I was thinking it might work. After that I called to a service - just dial & from the tele-caller I asked to give me the telephone numbers of the churches of Delhi. & I asked her to tell me a good church; she thought that I am a visitor & asking a good church by its built. She told me to visit sacred heart cathedral (near by Cannaught Place). So I went there, I met with a sister there & I said him that I want to meet father, co-incidentally father was coming in church. So I talked a little with father, in short I told my issues to him, after that father told me to go inside the church & pray about my issues, I also asked father about prayer, he told me just go to the Lord (idol of Jesus Christ) & pray, say him your problems/issues. I went there in the church & prayed, but nothing much happened & I fell little better. It was like I was thinking & just kept telling things.

After prayer I was outside that church just like watching things & also watching the quotes written on the left side of the wall, things came up again in my mind I was dizzy & nervous again, one guy was there who was looking at me came to me & said bro I can help u, if you have any problem you can share it with me. I ignored him then he asked again then I told him that I am in depression, then he thought that it might be a matter of girlfriend/love & he asked me the same, but I told him that it is not the matter of girlfriend/love (I was thinking it is a matter of life & death). Actually he showed love & his way of talking was so good & soothing that I told him my problems & issues in short, & after this he told me about a girl who is on wheel chair (named Sungeeta Jain - she is mighty servant of god). He told that I was about to give her cell number but by mistake he deleted her cell number. So he called his friend – Nelson Bro who attends her fellowship generally. So he consoled me by saying this that today Sungeeta will call you in night & she will pray for you. He told me not to lose hope. So I returned to my place with a hope.

From that very day I didn't get any call up to 2 days, then I was feeling like what all this is happening, I did few wrong things during that time which I should not do. After 3 days I received a call from her & we talked about my problems, she prayed for me, & as she was praying for me, I was feeling a flow of peace within me (a peace which I tried to get but not even heard about it from anyone & didn't received), & that time I thought that I was going on wrong path to kill myself, but after she prayed a ray of hope I saw in the prayer, & one thing I reminded that she was praying in the name of Jesus, so I got the clue & key (before that incident of prayer I never paid attention this name of Jesus so seriously). That very night I saw a miracle. & things went well after it. I used to live happily. Sungeeta Didi used to call me for prayers & she invited me to church. I knew that this is happening because of Jesus, I never experienced like it before. I used to go to church on Sundays & on Thursdays used to go for outreach. But questions weren’t solved out completely. Some bad things also happened with me but I knew in my heart that I have a hope now. About 2 months I kept going to the church, but one day I was feeling very upset, that day I told Sungeeta Didi that I won’t be coming to church anymore because life is not changing completely & questions are still. I told her that if anything happens within 3 days then only I will come to the church otherwise I won’t be coming. A brother (Shivanshu) was hearing all these things, so he caught me & told me to go to my place by car, but I refused, then he kept telling me to go by car, When I was going with him, he asked me that bro are you in hurry or have little time, I said I have time, so he told me to go to his friend’s place. There I met with Shivanshu bhaiya’s friend & his father who was pastor in the church nearby. Pastor Uncle asked me few questions & told me few things about Jesus. Just after that he told Shivanshu Bhaiya to go church nearby with me, so I went there with him, night prayer session was going on that day, at the end everybody prayed for me, I felt nothing but had strange feelings. From that very day Shivanshu Bhaiya kept on telling me about Jesus. Within few days I became stable & was feeling happy & peaceful. After about 2 &1/2 months I believed firmly in Jesus. I decided to follow Him because I knew that only He can give me joy, peace, love in true manner. Bible also says: “For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but will have eternal life.”

6^th & last reason: when I was searching the answers of basic questions I caught up a unusual disorder, it was related to mind & dreams, when I used to sleep, I used to dream lots of dreams, some dreams constructive, some destructive & some imaginary, I was in problem because I couldn't take my sleep properly, I used to felt like damn lethargic, but when Didi Sungeeta prayed for me I got rid of this unusual problem.

In the month of March I decided to live this happy life forever & desiring to live with Jesus. Though I haven't read bible much till that time. But Shivanshu Bhaiya told me that bible is infallible word of God by which we can know God. Then I used to read bible, & slowly - slowly I was changing, this I was feeling. I was very convinced by the teaching of the bible because they were true (plain spoken truth). In the month of April I got baptized & decided to follow Him in my entire life.

Now I know that who I am, I am beloved child of god created in the image of God & God loves me very much, no other person can love me like this.

Now I know that by birth I was/am a sinner but saved by His grace. I have done many wrong things - sins & because of those sins I deserved hell, but in Christ Jesus I found forgiveness of my sins, it was like reconciliation of my sins. He paid the wages for my sins, so that I might live.

Now I know that the purpose of my life is to glorify my Lord my God because He gave me life & He saved me & as He love me I should love because I am called to love.

Now I know that what this life is. This is a good life given by Him, all those circumstances were good. This life is of Him, by Him & for Him.

Now I know that after death I will meet my creator, the creator who created this beautiful & infinite universe, after death I will be in His presence where I will be ever satisfying.

It was not like a cup of tea that I drank, I also went through set backs & trials but I was having a hope which never failed. I want to say that in this life (here on earth) we may face many problem/trials/sufferings, but if we are with Christ we will always rejoice, we will be happy in all trouble time because this life on earth is like a vapor & the love of God poured in us which will never fail. If we are in Christ, if we have faith in Christ we will live abundant life.

So this was my testimony of conversion of my faith.